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fan-fic by killer-raptor

Fanfiction - Naruto by micahn10

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Submitted on
October 10, 2008
File Size
2.6 KB


657 (who?)
A Naruto Alphabet.

A is for Asuma, the guy with the knives,
With his chain-smoking habit he endangers young lives.
B is for Byakugan, the whitest of eyes
It sees all directions and is never surprised.
C is for Choji, but don’t call him fat,
He may be big boned, but he likes it like that.
D is for Danzo, the leader of Root
For things like emotion he won’t give a hoot.
E is for Ebisu, the master of education
Closet perversion is his aberration
F is for Fandom, the Naruto obsessed
I’m in that number, as you may have guessed
G is for Gaara, the Ninja of Sand,
The grains of the desert are his to command
H is for Hokage, the leader of the Leaf,
He died in the series, much to our grief
I is for Itachi, the Mangekyo user,
He fights little Sasuke, but he is the loser.
J is for Jiraiya, the pervy toad sage
In his pursuits of ‘research’, he won’t act his age.
K is for Kakashi, coolest of all
His lone Sharingan will copy it all.
L is for Lee, who works really hard
The eight chakra gates are his final trump card.
M is for Mokuton, a technique to use wood
By the First and Yamato, ‘cause nobody else could.
N is for Naruto, the kid with great pluck
Though most of his battles are won with dumb luck.
O is for Orochimaru, the sinister snake,
Sasuke’s body is what he wants to take
P is for Pain, Akatsuki’s boss
With six separate bodies, not a man you should cross
Q is for Quake, the shuddering ground,
Gamabunta will cause when he lands from his bound.
R is for Raiga, who appeared in the filler,
With his twin swords of lightning, he was a killer
S is for Sasuke, of the Uchiha clan,
His ambition’s to kill a particular man.
T is for Tsunade, of the monstrous strength
When asked to do work she complains at length
U is for Ukon, Sakon’s his brother,
There’s nothing that each would not do for the other.
V is for Victory, which you’re sure to get,
If on the success of Naruto you bet.
W is for Weapon, a Ninja’s first tool
Fans, puppets and swords, they’re all very cool
X is the symbol tattooed on the head,
Of Hyuga branch members until they are dead
Y is for Yondaime, known as Yellow Flash
He gave up his life in his final great clash.
Z is for Zabuza, Haku was his friend,
Together they bring this rhyme to an end.
Whew! This one took some effort. It was suprisingly difficult to find words for all of them, and sometimes I ended up changing an earlier one because I thought of something in point, 'I' was originally 'Ino'. Oh well, all done now. Enjoy!

EDIT - 11/Oct/08

Wow. Just plain wow. I never in my wildest imaginings expected such a tremendous amount of interest in this bit of poetry. Despite my best efforts, the amount of people favouriting and commenting has far exceeded my ability to acknowledge each one as I had originally intended, so now I just say to you all thanks ever so much.

Oh, and all characters are owned by Kishimoto. Forgot to mention that part.

Further Edit:

I am aware Pain is also spelt Pein. I went with the fan sites, despite personally preferring Pein.

I am also aware I rhymed all with all in entry K. This was a mistake caused by the rather erratic order of writing.

I am also aware of how bad some of the lines are, in terms of grammar and painfulness of the rhymes.

I'm not going to fix any of them, because that would tempt me to go through and re-write practically all the rest of it, and there lies the path into madness.

So, while I appreciate your helpful comments and will bear them in mind for next time, what you see is what you get for this particular deviation.
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homedepot51 Featured By Owner Sep 28, 2013
lawlz man lawlz
Aquadragoness Featured By Owner Aug 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Omg YES I'm not the only one who thinks that Naruto wins most of his battles with luck!
I love this! I would die trying to make all the lines rhyme for all the letters of the alphabet xD
Ananisapta Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013
Heh - a few years back I actually had someone get quite cross with me for daring to suggest that Naruto won by luck, particularly of the 'dumb' kind. 

That said, some of his more recent battles have shown him to be quite cunning, though not on the same level as, say, Kakashi or Shikamaru.

The rhyming was the easy part - getting the actual lines to scan and be the appropriate length with the rhymes attached was where it got tricky.
Aquadragoness Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh, I see. Like you want the lines to be about the same length as their rhyming counterparts and the rest of the poem. Yeah, I see how that can be tricky!

Well, at least in the original series Naruto seemed to win a lot of battles by luck. Like when he beat Kiba in the Chuunin exams by farting. I guess now he's a bit more strategic in battle than he was before, but now that he's got his kyuubi mode, his Sage mode, and his powerful jutsu I doubt it takes too much cunning for him to win a fight xD
Maybe that's just me, though. For some reason I've never liked Naruto, and even now that he's not as idiotic as he used to be I still don't like him that much. I tend to make fun of the fact that he can defeat pretty much anyone he fights. I know his power comes from his will to never give up, but I guess I find it unrealistic that he has only lost one time (if I remember correctly).

Sorry for all the rambling. It's just that you are like the only other person I've talked to who thinks that Naruto had won at least some of his battles by dumb luck.
Oh, just wondering, what did the person who got cross at you say to argue in Naruto's defense?
Ananisapta Featured By Owner Aug 5, 2013
Eh, I tend to still like him, largely because he never makes a big deal about how strong he is, and respects even the people he's surpassed in terms of raw strength, acknowledging that they know all kinds of tricks he isn't capable of.  Personally, I like Kakashi best - he's got the rounded mix of being nice but not too nice (he's not the walking redeemer Naruto seems to be turning into), strong but not too strong (his abilities are powerful but his stamina is low), and an interesting range of abilities and strategies (he mixes it up every fight rather than using the same trick again and again....*cough* Shadow Clone-Rasengan*cough*.

In terms of losing, he actually loses a few times....the trick tends to be that he doesn't stay down.  This is a common trait amongst shonen heroes and why, if you are an aspiring evil overlord, you need to avoid them at all costs.

Zabuza was beating him until they got Kakashi free.  Haku was beating him until he broke out the demon-fox mode.  Neji stomped him into the ground (literally) until he broke out the fox mode.  Orochimaru owned him in every encounter, even when he broke out the fox mode they were pretty evenly matched.  Itachi didn't even break a sweat the couple of times they fought.  Sasuke beat him at the valley of the end....there are quite a few times he's lost or nearly lost.

If I remember correctly (it is still in the comments list somewhere, but, y'know, effort) they said something along the lines of 'Naruto doesn't win by just dumb luck, he is a kind, hot person, so there.'  I pointed out that his kindness and level of physical attractiveness have nothing to do with it.

Aquadragoness Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh,I see. There are indeed a lot of times that he loses but gets back up! I've noticed that with Ichigo from Bleach and Natsu from Fairy Tail as well.
Yeah I like Kakashi too, for the same reasons that you do. I especially like that he is strong, but not too strong.
I'm glad that Naruto acknowledges his past superiors as well, now that I think about it.
Even though he's definitely not my favorite character, you've helped me see some more of his good qualities that I like. Thank you!
And that argument about him being hot... I definitely don't see how that backs up the argument that he doesn't win just by dumb luck, unless he purposefully utilizes his hotness to stun his foe or some weird thing like that xD
Ananisapta Featured By Owner Aug 30, 2013
In terms of Natsu and Ichigo, yes, it is basically Shonen Hero syndrome.  It tends to go with the territory - Luffy from One Piece is exactly the same.  Mostly they have to get beaten halfway to pulp before they start winning.  Actually, the same could be said for Zoro, Luffy's second in command - he doesn't usually start winning against the more powerful enemies until after he's lost more blood than by rights should be contained within a normal human body.

Well, Naruto DOES use the Sexy no

Winning via hotness...well, he wouldn't be the first.  Gray's fight with Juvia went the way it did largely because Juvia was overcome with romantic illusions, and Luffy converted Boa Hancock into an ally due to her falling head over heels for him....granted, neither was deliberate (or reciprocated), but still...:P.

I think, on the whole, a character has to have noticeable flaws to be interesting; and not the ones like 'so beautiful it is a curse' or 'cares too much for their own good'.  The usual one they give shonen heroes like Naruto is, well, stupidity....which I think is where the problem lies.  Now that he has stopped being a brash idiot and started strategizing, he doesn't have flaws any more - which makes him rather less interesting as a character.  Whereas someone like Kakashi has a whole barrel of issues they are dragging around with them, and rather than angsting about them or going off the deep end (*cough* Sasuke*cough*) he actively tries to fix his shortcomings...which gives him character development and personal goals.  Jiraiya was much the same.

There is nothing wrong with the main character of a show not being your favourite; that's the whole reason they have diverse casts, so that there will be someone there to appeal to nearly everyone.  I mean, in Bleach I don't especially like any of the technically main characters (Ichigo, Ishida, Chad, Orihime - I actively dislike Orihime), but I do like Kenpachi and Hitsugaya.  In One Piece, Zoro is my favourite; in Fairy Tail, it is a toss-up between Gray and Erza.
Aquadragoness Featured By Owner Sep 1, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yeah, I noticed most shonen heroes are idiotic for some reason! I agree that Naruto is less interesting now that he's more mature. I feel like he's starting to fix up his problems, personality and otherwise. He became friends with Kurama, and he's acknowledged by the villagers now. Not being acknowledged had been a problem since the beginning, so what's going to happen now that he's gained everyone's trust? He'd better find more problems :P

Oh, I can't agree more about the diverse cast thing. I'm so grateful that they don't stick to just a couple characters because I have a tendency to dislike main characters even when they're not idiots xD
I don't like Orihime either actually. I wonder why that is? I also dislike Lucy from Fairy Tail. I definitely like Erza the most, but Gray is my not-so-far-away second favorite.
Ananisapta Featured By Owner Sep 2, 2013
Part of the reason shonen heroes tend to be a bit on the dim side is due to a literary trick for world-building.  If you have a magical or weird world where the rules for how things work are differnt, then you need to explain this to the audience somehow.  One way to do this is have the narrator or a character spout exposition about how the world works whenever something unusual comes up....but then you have to halt the story to have someone come and waffle to you about what is actually going on.  Authors get around this by having a character in the story itself not know what is going on, and so as other characters explain things to them, they are also explaining them to the audience.  As the audience is supposed to identify with the person who doesn't know what is going on, this person is usually the protagonist, and thus the idiot hero is born.

Ichigo is a prime example - he's not dumb, but he is utterly ignorant about Soul Society when the series everyone he meets takes a little time aside to tell him a little more about the mechanics of the world, without derailing the story to do so.  or example, in his fight with Kenpachi, Kenpachi explains that a high spiritual pressure acts like armour...but you hardly notice because the concept is demonstrated in practice at the same time.  Thus, by explaining it to Ichigo, he explains it to the audience without breaking the fourth wall.

The main reason I dislike Orihime is she quite explicitly has Phenomenal Cosmic Power (TM) but never uses it in any significant way, preferring to stand around crying while her friends get beaten up. And everyone keeps having to go and rescue her.  I also disliked Aizen, not because he was evil but because he was boring.  He had no real motivation for almost anything he did, rendered everyone that anyone did against him utterly pointless and just went on and on and on just sort of being there rather than actually doing anything villainous - and since he was the only real villain it meant the heroes had nothing much to do either.  At least the Naruto villains had exploitable weaknesses and a high turnover rate so they didn't get stale.

Lucy....I don't mind her so much.  She is rather useless, since it is her spirits that actually do most of the work in just about any situation they are in, but she at least TRIES to do something useful.  A bit like Hinata, really - she irritated me during most of the first series until her fight against Nejii; she failed, but she from then on started to take control of her own destiny, to the point of getting herself stomped on by Pain/Nagato in order to protect Naruto.  I just wish Naruto had actually responded, in any way at all, to her confession of loving him - that was a big moment for her, and deserved some kind of response.  Even Sakura's fake-confession got an actual reaction.

The other Fairy Tail member I like is Gildarts.  I just love the idea that there is this stupidly powerful guild member who could destroy the city without much effort (and indeed has to make a point of not doing so), but who is one of the nicest and most easy-going characters in the series.
(1 Reply)
Carfur Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2013
Epic! I can't stop singing it :D
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